*It was upsetting, knowing that something had obviously hurt him and seeing how hard he was trying to hide it. She moves a little closer to him, their shoulders touching. Sonico thinks about taking her hand away, but instead it moves so the fingers just lightly touch the back of his hand*
It is okay to be upset. Whatever happened, you're allowed to be hurt by it.
[Terrance takes another sip of his drink, if only to avoid replying to her. He has no idea what to say. He doesn't like yelling despite being a grump and rather unpleasant company.
Instead of saying anything he picks up a fry and slowly begins to nimble on it.]
*His silence worries her, but she doesn't want to push him. Sonico takes her hand back and uses it to pull her soda towards her, only drinking from it to try and fill the silence with something. She glances at him again, hoping that maybe he'll start talking. At least if he's eating then that's good too. Still, in her expression it is clear that she's worried*
I-if you're not going to talk about it, t-then I don't think you should be drinking about it either.
*It wasn't like Sonico to tell anyone want to do, and she is both embarrassed and scared as she says this. Still, she looks him firmly in the eye, her throat suddenly dry. She doesn't want to anger him but she's worried that she will*
*Sonico drops her hands on her lap, her shoulders hunches as she stares down at them. She is aware of her cheeks flushing red, ashamed at her reasons for drinking, and frightened to say them out loud*
For...a couple of reasons. I don't think we drink for the same reasons... Why do you drink? Why are you drinking now...?
[He asks in a distant sad voice, his drink remaining untouched. He's lost count of how much he's drank but he can feel it now and it blurs his senses and stops his usual quiet manner.]
This isn't even the worst Sonico. Leave like everyone does, I don't think I can feel the loss anymore.
[Terrance's fingers wrap around his drink and he downs it.]
*Sonico looks up at him suddenly in alarm, eyes wide and mouth open in shock*
I don't mean that at all! I mean that you were just busy getting on with your day and then I made you come here and I thought it would be fun but - I've just made you feel horrible by dragging up things.
[He wonders how many fucking times he's going to tell her that. She's one of the few people he goes out of his way for and yet she keeps getting down on herself. It's really annoying.]
I'm used to people leaving. [There is the root of his problems.] My parents didn't fucking want me and I don't expect anyone else too.
*The way he tells her that makes her feel like she's said the wrong thing, and she lowers her eyes in apology. But then she is really focused on him, her eyes steady as he speaks*
Oh... Oh Terrance. I'm so sorry to hear that. But - that isn't true. It might feel like that some times but that doesn't mean it's going to be true of everyone you know...
What's changed since then is that I'm sure you've met more people and made more friends. And they are people that like you and don't want to leave you.
*She looks down at her empty glass and slowly shakes her head*
Or...it feels worse because you've drunk a lot and haven't eaten much...
You do have friends. What about Tony? What about - me? You're a much better guy than you give yourself credit for.
*She is almost firm as she says it, quite put out that he would look at her and tell her he had no friends. But then she clicks as to what some of this might be about*
*She watches sadly as he attempts to leave, and is quite glad when he falls back into his seat again. Sonico closes the gap between them and puts a hand on his shoulder to turn him to face her*
You are not an idiot. You're the least idiotic person I know. I am sorry that people have left you, that people have hurt you. But it is not your fault.
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*It was upsetting, knowing that something had obviously hurt him and seeing how hard he was trying to hide it. She moves a little closer to him, their shoulders touching. Sonico thinks about taking her hand away, but instead it moves so the fingers just lightly touch the back of his hand*
It is okay to be upset. Whatever happened, you're allowed to be hurt by it.
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Instead of saying anything he picks up a fry and slowly begins to nimble on it.]
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I'm not talking about it.
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*It wasn't like Sonico to tell anyone want to do, and she is both embarrassed and scared as she says this. Still, she looks him firmly in the eye, her throat suddenly dry. She doesn't want to anger him but she's worried that she will*
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[He doesn't look angry, a little annoyed, but not angry.]
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*Sonico drops her hands on her lap, her shoulders hunches as she stares down at them. She is aware of her cheeks flushing red, ashamed at her reasons for drinking, and frightened to say them out loud*
For...a couple of reasons. I don't think we drink for the same reasons... Why do you drink? Why are you drinking now...?
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[He sees no reason to tell her if she isn't going to tell him anything.]
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I drink because...because it makes me..more confident about myself. And it...it makes me feel..less alone...
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[He says this pointedly.]
We're the same.
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I wish I hadn't asked you to come here now... You'll drink yourself numb and then - in the morning - you might decide to just drink all over again.
*She sighs, long as slow, and takes another fry which she begins chewing thoughtfully*
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[He asks in a distant sad voice, his drink remaining untouched. He's lost count of how much he's drank but he can feel it now and it blurs his senses and stops his usual quiet manner.]
This isn't even the worst Sonico. Leave like everyone does, I don't think I can feel the loss anymore.
[Terrance's fingers wrap around his drink and he downs it.]
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*Sonico looks up at him suddenly in alarm, eyes wide and mouth open in shock*
I don't mean that at all! I mean that you were just busy getting on with your day and then I made you come here and I thought it would be fun but - I've just made you feel horrible by dragging up things.
But I - no. I'm not going anywhere.
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[He wonders how many fucking times he's going to tell her that. She's one of the few people he goes out of his way for and yet she keeps getting down on herself. It's really annoying.]
I'm used to people leaving. [There is the root of his problems.] My parents didn't fucking want me and I don't expect anyone else too.
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*The way he tells her that makes her feel like she's said the wrong thing, and she lowers her eyes in apology. But then she is really focused on him, her eyes steady as he speaks*
Oh... Oh Terrance. I'm so sorry to hear that. But - that isn't true. It might feel like that some times but that doesn't mean it's going to be true of everyone you know...
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[He glares at her feeling his head swim and his vision blur.]
What's changed since then?
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*She looks down at her empty glass and slowly shakes her head*
Or...it feels worse because you've drunk a lot and haven't eaten much...
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[His voice is lower now, his chin resting on his chest as he exhales a slow puff of air.]
And that's not me being fucking depressing or woe is me sorta shit. I had one person in my life who fucking gave a damn and he left.
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*She is almost firm as she says it, quite put out that he would look at her and tell her he had no friends. But then she clicks as to what some of this might be about*
Who left...?
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Corbin... twice now.
[Once when they'd almost been at the end of his thesis and again now. He can't make people stay and he'd finally thought he had.]
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*She has never heard of this Corbin person before, but it's clear from the way he speaks that he was someone of importance to him*
He was here...and now he's gone?
*She asks it carefully, tentatively - but she has heard of other people round here losing friends to their home worlds*
But then...I'm sure he didn't choose to go. I'm sure he didn't mean to leave you.
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[He moves away from her and tries to stand though he only succeeds in stumbling back to his seat.]
I'm just an idiot.
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*She watches sadly as he attempts to leave, and is quite glad when he falls back into his seat again. Sonico closes the gap between them and puts a hand on his shoulder to turn him to face her*
You are not an idiot. You're the least idiotic person I know. I am sorry that people have left you, that people have hurt you. But it is not your fault.
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Just because I'm smart doesn't mean I'm not an idiot.
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Are you just going to keep talking bad about yourself until I agree?
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